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I'm back!!! and Day 9!!!

My Friends!!!
I've missed you so much! It's been too, too long.
So much has happened since we last met. Let's do a quick recap: Uhhhhh....Poncho was sick, then better, then famous, I went to San Francisco, Pleasant Hill, Oakland, Berkeley, Oakland, Davis, and Sacramento, and Oakland (one trip, so much fun), I got another frog, I am trying to move, I got a cold, I feel like watching star trek, I got another cold, I got excited by news that the Old Spice guy will be back for the super bowl, I still have that stupid cold, and here we are. I guess my life is not actually that exciting. Still, Star Trek??? Gripping stuff.
In the midst of all that, I never mentioned an important event: the one year anniversary of the Mexico trip, celebrated by a flurry of text messages throughout the land. "One year?" you say, "but I didn't know that trip ever finished!!" I know, dear reader, if I don't write about it, it's as if it never even happened. But it did happen. And it was fantastic. And slightly blurry from a distance of a year. So here, before it blurs anymore, is DAY 9:

Click quick, before it disappears!!! (dissappears? No. Disappears. I was right.)Collapse )
So that was Day 9. Very long, or I'm getting worse at synopsizing (Synopsizing. Great word. You know what word I hate? Cake. So ugly).

And your Spanish Phrase of the Day is: Quieres comer buen queso despues comer trescientos tacos?
That means, "Do you want to eat good cheese after eating 300 tacos?"

What did you guys do without me? So educational! (BTW- correct answer is- "that sounds totally gross, and I'm vegan. So no." Now translate it! Do it!!)

I got a little frog

He's so cute.
He lives at my office, where he has bonded with the fake turtle in his bowl. The turtle's name is Wilson. The frog's name is Fergitty Frogwell the First. Although there is some indication that he might be a she, in which case, he might become something else. Fergita? Nah. We'll figure it out.
For now Frogwell has been settling in. He is a picky eater, and doesn't seem to like anything I have given him. That's a shame because the only other options are frozen or fresh worms, and I'm pretty sure that even graduate engineering students draw the line at worms in their office fridge.
I have tried to take pictures of Frogwell, but he is not too photogenic with my iPhone camera. 

I like it when he swims around. And sometimes he just kind of floats, hanging out in a zen/ ballet type of pose.

I hope he never finds out what I had to do in freshman biology.

how to make things better

I am SUCH a grump today.


I don't even want to put my feelings into haiku form. 

To cheer myself up, I decided to buy something. 

See? I bought a travel mug. Which is good for cheering up because it is such a pretty blue. And it is practical because then I can bring hot beverages with me to work from home and not pay for them. AND it is practical because if I buy hot tea in it at one of the fine establishes here on campus, I will pay less because I use my own container. I would pay $1.35 instead of $1.40. I KNOW! That's a $.05 difference. Mint.com says that savings like that really add up. Actually Mint.com says that I should reevaluate my lifestyle. Stupid Mint.com. 

Speaking of not listening to helpful online financial planners, I thought I needed something extra to perk me up. So I added this:
Dark chocolate covered macadamia nuts. Which I shared with my coworker, which had the added social and emotional benefits of human interaction (it's true).

It's all been very helpful. But I think I can maximize the benefits if I combine the pretty cup+fancy chocolates+feel good movie later on.

Bollywood makes everything better.

Hey Guys!

Guess what??

Its RAINING!!!! Yay!!

I'm so excited. For so many reasons. Mostly it's because I get to wear my new boots. They're not actually that new. I got them in the spring but ever since then the weather has denied me the chance to wear them. Stupid weather (I actually got them while I was in the back of the room at the conference we had at work, which I thought should mean that I should be reimbursed for it. Sadly, accounting did not agree. Stupid accounting).

I had to park much further away than I normally do today, which might have been a problem (especially in sort of tall shoes), but even though I know that I work here, and don't actually go to classes, I have always really liked walking through a university in the rain. Maybe because it drives all the sorority girls indoors. I just like it. The splashiness of it all.

Also, the rain will help wash my car. At this point, any water on it will be an improvement.

And the rain will water my plants, which is great because it has been hot here. Only for about 2 days, but my plants were pretty traumatized. Except for my tomatoes, which went crazy. Seriously. Look at them! 

So, to recap- happy rain, happy boots, happy car, happy plants, happy Sage. Poncho is not so happy with the rain, as he is convinced that water melts chihuahuas, but he'll get over it. Bottom line- really excited about the rain over here. And the boots. Yay boots!!

It's Hug a Vegetarian Day!!!

So have you?

I have!

(Sort of. Poncho got a bag of Vegetarian food last night that he is going to try out, so he is a budding vegetarian. And I hugged him.)

You can even go here and make your own ad for tofu. And vegetarians eat tofu! See the connection?!! 

Here is mine:

I'm not sure that it's the best ad for tofu ever, the girls look like they need to be convinced. But I like how my niece is eating a carrot.

Anyway, take home message: Hug a vegetarian.

Your Spanish Phrase of the Day (you thought I had forgotten, didn't you?) is: Los Vegetarianos tambien necesitan amor.

That means "Vegetarians need love too." That's right. Love and tofu. And that goes for Veggie doggies too. So love Poncho today.

Ahoy Mateys!!!

Guess what???
There's a new boy in town, and he's ADORABLE!!

Meet Jeremy Mekhi Hernandez, the cutest relative of any of my ex neighbors.

Isn't he just so cute? He's even better than a sloth, although he was born in a hospital, not a slothpital (slothpital! Ha! I love it!!).

And how's the family, you ask? Is Nate totally freaking out?

Nah, they're doing just fine.

The Hernandez family, now a package of three.

Although Jeremy and his adorable cuteness distracted me for most of the week, I didn't forget the biggest holiday on the Briggs Family Calendar. That's right, Saturday (the 19th) was International Talk Like a Pirate Day. To celebrate, I talked like a pirate to my parents. Yeah, I went all out this year. But that's nothing compared to years past. In fact, if I lived in a sitcom, right now I'd be staring thoughtfully out into space, and everything would go all wavy......

Click here for my dream sequenceCollapse )

So that was pirate day, past and present. What did you do to celebrate? Steal a boat? Drink some grog? Have a moment of silence for Johnny Depp??

In other news, I'd like to take a moment to mourn My Boys. It was a good little show, and now it's gone. Gone forever, but always in our hearts. It was a perfect little show all about friends, sports, drinking, and nothing. So great. And Grandpa liked it too because it was all about baseball. And pirates. Well, not really pirates, but definitely baseball.


A quick question...

When did I get so old? I'm sitting here in a waiting room at 12:35am, in a hospital I have been in since 1 this afternoon, waiting for baby Jeremy to decide to meet us. And signs are pointing to a late morning appearance. All the youngsters are saying things like, "We should play scategories!! We should do charades!! Oooo, a scooter!!!!"

All I want to say is this:

People please. I want to sleep. Or at least rest in that weird way where you are curled into the corner of an uncomfortable chair and your head is flopping around. Yes, please. I will gladly take some of that. So please shut off the TV. Please stop talking. I don't want to listen to this awesome band. I don't care what bubblegum popstar was at your school today. I don't care. I have to work tomorrow. I have to work! Because I am old!!!! Leave me alone and stay off my lawn!!!!

And on a final note, Myra will be a mommy tomorrow. It's so unbelievable and so unbelievably exciting.

And on a final, final note: these kidlings are watching Fallon. They literally skipped right on past Craig Ferguson. And Jimmy, while adorable in an irritating brother type of way, is just not all that consistently funny. At all.

Long Beach is just so LA

This is what I know:

I HATE camping.

That's right, I said it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't hate the act of camping. In fact, I used to love camping. Camping for me usually brings back memories of pine trees, and my brother and I in a never ending quest to find just the perfect rock-face to throw ourselves off (we thought it was great how the pine needles sped you up as you rolled. Mom wasn't quite so excited when she saw what we were doing). I think of camping and I think of how cold our hands got when we were squishing the bag of frozen strawberries to go on the pancakes. Good memories. Great memories. Fun times.
And even now, although I haven't been camping in years, I think I could get into it. I mean, sure, camping seems to require things that I generally avoid. Like bugs. And spiders. And dirt. And bugs. And the outdoors. But I could handle it for a few days. It would be fun. Like reverse dress up.

But this month, i hate camping. Because of camping, I was left alone. All alone. My best friend was camping, my mom and dad took off to work unassigned territory for WEEKS in a camper and out of cell phone range, my supervisors at both jobs went camping, and one of my other bosses went to Berkeley, which everyone knows is so full of hippies that it might as well be camping (face it folks, there's a whooole lot of plant life in that area). Bottom line- I was left all alone. Alone! I was alone! And my cable was out!!!! (small misunderstanding with the cable company- they didn't understand that I had no money) No cable and NO ONE to talk to. Even Poncho kept wanting to go outside. It was awful. That's when I decided- camping is stupid.

To get over my latent abandonment issues, I decided to surround myself with friendly faces, about 9,000 of them.

Click here to read about my convention in Long Beach! Click now!!!! CLICK.Collapse )
So I have recovered from the camping PTSD. Thankfully, my cable is back and I watched a really helpful episode of Dr. Phil that reminded me that it doesn't matter that my friends left me, and my baby's daddy is married to three of my cousins, what matters is that I look deep inside and realize that I'm worth it. I'm not sure what the "it" is that I am supposed to be worthy of, but I'm working on it, day by day. Thanks to Oprah, I mean Joel McHale, whatever. All I know is, TV makes the hurt go away.

In honor of the CSI craziness, I give you a clip of CSI. It may even be what I saw being filmed.

And soon I shall get back to the Mexico trip. I have to, Daniel is totally trying to show me up. I blame it on his fancy computer.

Waffle Smoothie!!

Yesterday I accomplished something amazing, something magical.
I made a smoothie that tasted like a blueberry waffle.
Be stunned.
of course I was so proud of my achievement I had to tell all my friends. And I have been so deluged by the requests, nay, by the demands that I give out the recipe, I finally decided to give my public what it wants. Normally I don't share my recipes (I'm saving them up for my forthcoming cookbook. The Lazy, Broke, Vegan Gourmet? Vegan Princess on a Budget?), but I caved to the incessant demands of so many (well, 3). 
So here, for the first time in print, is my smoothie recipe. use it in good health.

Sage's Amazing Waffle Smoothie
This is a very technical recipe, so pay attention to the ingredients and measurements. No Substitutions please!
  • Fill up the glass you will use about 2/3 full of soy milk or any other milk-like beverage.
  • Put the milk in the blender.
  • Throw in a few handfuls of the ice-encrusted berry fruit that has been sitting in your freezer for the last 6 months-a year. About half of the berries should be blueberries to get the full effect.
  • Add in a good squirt of maple syrup.
  • Cover the blender and blend until it has reached a smoothie like consistency.
  • Drink and be amazed.
Note: I found out today that it is possible to add too much maple syrup. Think less "having a really bad day and am drowning my sorrows in waffles covered in maple goodness" and more "running late, just threw my toaster waffle into a to-go container and added a squirt of maple syrup as my ride kept honking in the driveway."

Cute kills. Just say no to viral videos.

So I just read a blog referencing a study where scientists found that cute imagery stimulates the reward center of the brain in the same way that cocaine does. There was some more, and it was interesting, and you can read about it here, but I was too busy looking at the adorable sloths and then frantically searching for more.

The cuteness! The unbelievable cuteness!

  Is there anything cuter in the world? 

So remember folks, cute has addictive qualities and looking at too many cute pictures can cause you to constantly search for a quick fix. First the sloths, than lolz catz, then where do you go? Soon you'll be trolling sites, hunting for pandas.

So stop now. Before it's too late. 
But first, watch this one again....remember, all the sloths at this sanctuary that are hurt are taken to the slothpital. A slothpital! Couldn't you just die?

I live in often sunny Santa Barbara, California, with my chi-weiner Poncho. Together we dream of traveling around the world in search of the perfect dog treat. Actually, that's Poncho's dream. I'd settle for finding a place with less fog and more vegetarians.

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January 2011



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